- He prioritizes his needs over yours: He’s focused on what he can get from you, rather than building a mutually supportive relationship. This could manifest as always asking for favors without offering help in return.
- Lack of emotional reciprocity: He doesn’t seem genuinely interested in your life, your feelings, or your well-being. He may only be present when he wants something.
- Conditional affection: His affection and attention seem to increase when he needs something and then fade once he gets it.
- Avoids real intimacy: He keeps conversations superficial, shies away from talking about your feelings for each other, or avoids discussing the future of the relationship.
- Your gut tells you something isn’t right: Listen to your intuition. If you consistently feel uneasy or suspicious, those feelings might be signaling something unhealthy about the dynamic.
Specific Examples of Exploitive Behavior
- He only contacts you late at night (booty calls). He isn’t interested in getting to know you, just fulfilling his physical desires.
- Uses emotional manipulation: He makes you feel guilty for not giving in to his demands, or makes grand promises of love and commitment that never materialize into action.
- Disappears when he doesn’t need anything: He goes silent for long periods when he isn’t getting what he wants.
- Always needs “help”: This could be financial support, favors, rides, or an endless listening ear for his problems without providing the same support in return.
- You don’t know his friends or family: He maintains distance and keeps you separate from important aspects of his life.
How to Protect Yourself
- Trust your instincts: If something feels off, it likely is.
- Set healthy boundaries: Be clear about what you are and are not willing to do. Practice saying “no” to unreasonable requests.
- Talk to trustworthy friends or family: Get outside perspectives on the situation and their insights on his behavior.
- Don’t be afraid to walk away: You deserve a relationship with genuine love and support. If he isn’t willing to offer that, prioritize your own wellbeing.
Remember: You are worthy of respect, genuine love, and reciprocity. Never settle for someone who treats you as anything less.